Calmness Is A Superpower

I have had so many situations these past few weeks where the only way through them was to remain level-headed and calm. It was vital for me to remain balanced, not overly reactive, and able to stay reasonable and rational. Very difficult in so many situations, especially if you are not surrounded by the same kind of calm and rational behavior. I believe it is important and vital to develop our mental faculties of perception so we can look at things from different points of view. I also get that having a healthy attitude and a positive mental state is scary for some people, and I have seen a few people get really upset when you try to keep calm and balanced; however, know that calmness is a superpower.

I was recently given several experiences where the only choices I had to get through a situation peacefully was to use my superpower of being calm, balanced and rational. I was not sure how I would get through several trying times in the past few weeks. I began to realize that if I took the time to practice quieting my mind and simply observing the sensations and feelings that I was experiencing, then I would be less reactive. I had to take a few breathes and understand other people, events, and situations are really beyond my control. At first this may seem to be an uncomfortable realization, but it is the foundation for calmness which truly is a superpower.

I get that as human beings, we will continuously face adversity, annoyances, anger and stress from a variety of sources. Get this, no matter what you do, where you go, or who you are with it's a fact of life. Here is the other important thing, though I can’t control what will happen, I fully understand that how I react to it is about who I am as a person. If I get angry inpatient, then that is feeding the source, if I am calm and get proactive, than that is who I am.

See over the years as I aged, I really began to understand calmness is like a get out of jail card or some sort of superpower. Calmness, oh indeed it is something I have had to teach myself. Seems like the calmer, positive attributes in my life had to be self-taught and what I have learned over the years is I am given the opportunity to recognize and appreciate the challenges and obstacles life presents to me as opportunities to strengthen my ability to stay calm and balanced. By being grateful for those experiences, they have become tools to help me rather than stress me and this gentle switch in perspective makes it easier to get through difficult times and people.

 For me, when things happen, people get angry, do not understand, become hard to deal with, or a situation goes astray or I am surround by negative attitudes, I see it as a wonderful opportunity to learn more about patience and tolerance and to realize it is not about me. When I let go of the me component, balance is achieved. I try to slow down my thinking and find calm in chaotic environments and situations. I like to slow myself down most of the time by breathing or creating mantras in my head. My favorite mantra is every little thing is going to be alright. I say it over and over until I cannot hear the external disruption. I believe this offers me time to step back and observe people, and believe me, I find this stillness can be in all that activity.

I have, at the age of 66, realized that people are people, they will be who they are, and I cannot change them. When someone upsets me, it is because they aren’t acting according to how I feel they “should” behave. You know, when they are unkind, dishonest, and unable to listen, it is not the behavior I would desire from a kind person. However, I also have to realize that it does not stem from their behavior but from how their behavior differs from my expectations. You know, be kind, honest, and listen. Over the years, I have slowly, and I emphasize slowly, learned to be calm and kind and use that as a superpower.

Yes, indeed, I believe that calmness is a wonderful superpower. Come on, the ability to not overreact, take things personally, keep yourself in now, and your heart walk in peace will almost always offer you the upper hand regardless of your circumstances. You are at your most creative when you are calm. You are more useful to the world and yourself if you can stay centered when everything and everyone around you is off-balance. Being still when all the world around you is racing. Being quiet when everyone is shouting. Being calm when others are anxious. Calm is your superpower. The Dalai Lama said that "the greater the level of calmness of our mind, the greater our peace of mind, the greater our ability to enjoy a happy and joyful life." So, how do we get to this state of calmness? Great questions, and the possibilities are endless.

You can meditate, "I can't you say I have tried over and over,” then simply breathe, just breathe in and out. Slowly and deliberately. I find that to be my number one source of being calm. Breathing in, I calm my body. Breathing out, I smile. Your breath sustains every cell in your body. Every time you inhale, you energize your body. Every time you exhale, you relax your body. It is what feeds your superpower of calmness. I am personally fond of Dr Andrew Weil's breathing exercise and I will quote him; " Inhale through your nose for 4 counts---Hold your breath for 7 counts--Exhale 8 counts." This will feed that calmness.

Now, don't get me wrong; calmness does not mean being in a place where there is no chaos, trouble, or intense reality to deal with.  Calmness means being in the middle of it all and remaining centered. How do you get that way? You can get that way by choosing to have positive energy. Try to find and fix the problem if you can. Now if you cannot fix it, why not accept it? Once you accept it, you might be able to change your thoughts. Whatever you do, try not to put too much energy in it rather, try to remember that most of your thoughts exists in your head. When you feel lost and worried I think people mistake their worries for reality.

Keep in mind, that you and you alone can make the choice of what matters to do and what does not matter to you. Remember that the choices you make for the meanings that you give it. There is an old saying that says, "everything in your life has precisely the meaning you give it. Really when you think of it, chances are the problem is not the problem. Pretty much it is simply over-thinking and over. Just pause, and feed your superpower by breathing and tell yourself that the happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.  Keep in mind,  being positive doesn’t mean ignoring the negative, it means overcoming the negative. There’s a big difference between the two. Give yourself that power to focus and do so mindfully on what truly matters. Look, life is too short to argue, fight, and be uptight. Calmness among chaos is a human superpower.